if they were really together...

it has once again been a long time since i blog.
blogging its like an 'on' and 'off' stuff for me.
sometime i will feel like ranting my hearts out.
sometime i feel like there is no point in blogging. its just wasting precious times that i can use to study instead.
sometime i just cant express how am i feeling now and how i am going to write down here.
sometime, I JUST FEEL LIKE DOING IT! and here i am....

ohwell. this week has been quite fun yet disastrous. self distruction i can say. where i am in no mood to study during prelim period. mood swing then and now...
all i did was just having my fun and telling myself that there is always tmr to study, so i can just have fun for the time being. and it had continued for almost a week.
i am left with a few days to study and yet i am here. blogging....

i think i must also stop imagining stuff. its not good for me and my health. although sometime it can drift me away from this cruel reality, how i wish i m living in that world,where everything goes according to my plan and what i want, who i want to be with and everuthing its just so perfect.. woo. i know its impossible again, but who give a damn.. i can just imgaine it right., hahas.

as i typed all this, i cant stop thinking but to think that i am wasting time ranting all those stuff down here.. but i dont think i can talk to people about these sort of things. i rather not to. dont even know who can i trust... this world is just so different from outside world such as in australia. having been reading the magazine girlfriend. i am so motivated to go there. thinking that my life would change for the better..

I...
i dont even know why are we in this stage now,
i am sure none of us want this to happen,
i am sure you all din make the effort to,
i do. but what happen? i am even more disgusted.
i try to stop feeling that..
i cant help it. what can i do?
i try to confront...
i know it will not work out...
i keep quiet i hope for the best...
i am here. ranting however i feel.
i know you all din knw that.
i am glad coz..
i dont know what todo.
i tell myself i should salvage this friendship of ours.
i refuse to.
i want to.
i am confuse..
is it even worth it?
this friendship its just so superficial...

Labels: is it worth salvaging?

12:43 PM ·