it has been quite some time since i updated my blog. well i feel that my english has deproved again due to the insufficient use of english. have been talking indonesian quite alot these days.
okayy this post is going to be a little bit long perhaps as i have gone through alot these few weeks and longed to pour it out here. my life my everything. its just not right now. i cant seem to see what is right for me. ermm how do i put it in words?

these few weeks i realised i have done nothing besides wasting my precious time unknowingly.
while everybody goes to school, i have been ponning school (JC) well i did go there for the 1st week and orientation and i decided to withrdaw from it as i have been accepted to SP biomedical sci..
i feel so iresponsible for not withdrawing from cj yet. but at the same time i am not ready to do so in case i change my mind about going to poly. it is so selfish of me todo so. butttttttttttttt...
i cant really say i wasted my time going to jc because over there i learnt new stuffs and made new friends.nice friends... but i ccant go on and grow with them anymore since i am not in that jc anymore. it really hurts me to let go of ur new found friend. when u think of getting close to them and be their good frens. ohwell. there is nothing i can do now unless i go back to jc since i havent officially withdraw from there yet. hmmm..
i just hope that we will not lose contact with one another even though i m farr away from them..

let me reflect what i have done for the past week.
sleeep at 3am everyday.
wake up at almost 1 pm the next day
go office for some training
go out with friend?

all these useless thing i have done over the past week. what did i get? ohwell training wont be wasted i guess as i learnt new skills like all the sales and customer service skills.. but i havent been on to any apointment yet.. ahh i how i wish i can close a deal and earn money now. well there isnt any free lunch in this world. u will get back what u have invest. for this time the time and effort that i spend training and learning from my supervisors i guess...

i have been telling myself that i want to start a new life after tomorow.i remember i have said that for the past 4 days almost every night before i sleep. but guess what it is still the same till noww. today i still woke up at 12 pm and i even ponned church becoz i felt asleep again after my friend called... went out to plan nina's bday with farah and celesty and samuel. went to the it fair... thats all............. and my sunday is gone............

there are alot of things i want todo in my life. alot of stufss i want to achieve in my life. but my actions simply doesnt support what my mind is thinking. i cant seem to change my bad habbit and it seems to go on and on..

oh God.. please give me some direction in my life.. please brighten up the pathway of my life.. i dont want to go on this way. please let me find a decent job and earn a decent income for now.. please dont let me regret being in poly later on and let me get into the scholarship prg just as my parent want me to. OH LORd there are just so many things going on in my mind now thanks for listening to me ranting without complaining..... sorry for not appreciating you before that... in jesus name, AMEN

about *** that has been bothering me quite alot too. something somewhere

i dont know why i feel this way
maybe i think too much
maybe its the fact that it is the way it is
maybe its my fault
maybe it is not my fault
maybe i m just too young to understand and be part of them

friendship isnt forever
it is just like wave, it can come and go at any point of time
it can flood u up
or it can just drain u up

the sacrifices that i made to my life
which i once thought was worth it
came back and haunt me
when i see the true colour of you

do you do this on purpose
do you really dont care the feelng
do you really want it to be this way
or it is just a pretender..

it is just so tired to go on like this
confrontation will make it worse
if you really want it to be this way
then let it be

sometime it hurts
sometime it will be jealousy
but in no time
it will be nothing to me anymore

i regretted making that choice
making that decision
for the sake of that period of time
when i m still blinded by you

now i m very clear
there is no point of turning back
life still goes on
while you have your fun
i will have mine

we are just from different world
co existing in the same world
eventually we will go back to where we belong
i belive...................................

dear Lord thank you for making me realise that all the things that had happen is indeed for my own good. even though its abit hard at first but i believe thing will change for the better as you have plan to prosper me not to harm me. there is definetly a very good reason behind these. you want me be a child of God and do the righteous thing in my life, amen

waahhhhh i cant believe i spent almost one hour writing this whole thing.
okayy i tell myself i MUST start afresh tmr. dont dwell on the past. let the bygone be bygone.
vinolia, ur a new person now! u have ur new life to begin.. the whole lot of fun,happy,sad moment waiting for you. face them strongly and you will sow the seed one day!believe in urself!
jiayou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Labels: ranting about my lifee

1:04 AM ·